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Literature Text
This feeling is mutual, or is it more terrifying than that?
The way you make me feel is so estranged, so confusing, so warm…
Your words pierce my heart
But when I see your face
I just want to be held in your arms
Tell me what to do, because in this place, I don't know where I am
All I know is that you're there
With all these broken pieces around me
I fade away
But won't hesitate to give you a piece that tells a message
Saying, "Even with this broken heart I'll still love you"
And as you take a piece
This heart is surrounded by darkness in which you invoked
But yet so warm when I hold your hand in this dark place
My love no matter how deep we go
I will still hold on to you
Until I finally reach you with your arms around me
The way you make me feel is so estranged, so confusing, so warm…
Your words pierce my heart
But when I see your face
I just want to be held in your arms
Tell me what to do, because in this place, I don't know where I am
All I know is that you're there
With all these broken pieces around me
I fade away
But won't hesitate to give you a piece that tells a message
Saying, "Even with this broken heart I'll still love you"
And as you take a piece
This heart is surrounded by darkness in which you invoked
But yet so warm when I hold your hand in this dark place
My love no matter how deep we go
I will still hold on to you
Until I finally reach you with your arms around me
A little poem I made from my diary.
© 2012 - 2024 AmazedByHisCreations
Comments3
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As I read the first line, I was a little taken aback. And as I read the rest of this poem, I settled in to this "taken-abackedness." You do a lot of interesting inversions of the reader's expectations, in a way that's both apparent and subtle. What happened in the first line is I was mildly surprised, and by the end of the poem I felt like my heart was in my hands. The sentiment "I will still hold on to you" is both brutal and inevitable. This is an electrifying poem.
By the way, if you appreciate the comment/critique, could you take a minute and vote for my poem to help me win a scholarship? Just send "They Dreamed They Were Oysters" in the subject line of an email to votejustpoetry@comcast.net . You can read the poem on my profile, you can also read the rest if the entries at justpoetry.org
By the way, if you appreciate the comment/critique, could you take a minute and vote for my poem to help me win a scholarship? Just send "They Dreamed They Were Oysters" in the subject line of an email to votejustpoetry@comcast.net . You can read the poem on my profile, you can also read the rest if the entries at justpoetry.org